Watching someone you love struggle with substance abuse is heart wrenching. Your desire is to see them get help, but until they are ready, change is unlikely.
These are some signs that your loved one may be struggling with substance abuse:
- Physical changes like weight loss or insomnia
- Isolation or change in social life
- Disinterest in hobbies
- Extreme changes in mood and behaviour
- Trouble remembering or staying alert
- Lack of concentration
If an addiction has become destructive for relationships, career, and the health and safety of the individual and others, it is time to have a frank conversation.
Where to Start?
Initiating a difficult conversation can be uncomfortable, but it can be a vital step in helping your loved one in their journey to recovery.
Before you begin, do some research. Investigate recovery programs that would be a good fit and understand the process. This will be helpful when speaking with your loved one.
Teen Challenge Canada provides help and hope to those looking for freedom from addiction through a 12-month, in-residence program. Contact our admissions team if you’re unsure how to start the conversation.
It’s important to remember that you cannot force someone to get help if they are not ready. Your role is to provide information, resources, and support to help them take that first, brave step.
Time & Place
Be sure to choose the time and place carefully. Select a private space that protects confidentiality and so you can have a conversation without interruptions or distractions.
Express Your concern
Take some time in advance to organize your thoughts so you can express why you are worried. Share some specific behaviours or events that have caused concern.
Check Your Tone
It might be challenging to keep your cool, but it is critical that you remain in control of your emotions. Avoid sounding judgemental or self-righteous or throwing out ultimatums.
Focus on the Positives
Addiction causes people to become self-focused, fixated on getting their next high. This means they may lose sight of the good things in their life – the reasons for recovery. Make a list of their personal strengths, achievements, activities, and relationships that matter.
What’s Next?
Be prepared for a reaction – these challenging conversations can make people feel angry or defensive. They may say hurtful words.
Don’t be discouraged. It may take several conversations like this for your loved one to understand the extent of their addiction. You can’t walk the recovery journey for someone, but you can walk with them. To help support your loved one, stay engaged. Your presence matters more than your advice.
Be loving but firm. You want to be a support without enabling harmful behaviour. That means having and observing boundaries. Offer support without taking responsibility for their choices and avoid shielding them from consequences.
With extended times of substance abuse, the people closest to the one struggling can become codependent as they try to support the person experiencing the addiction. This article is a helpful resource about codependence.
The road to recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.
There will be twists and turns along the way, but it is possible. There is freedom in Christ!
Teen Challenge Canada offers a faith-based, 12-month, in-residence program that will help your loved one rebuild physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Our safe, structured, and supportive environment encourages healing and restoration.
